"Gosh Darn it all to heck!"

Ayyo again....

It was two nights ago that 2008's oscar nominated Mickey Rourke starrer,"the wrestler" was playing on z-studio,for the first time,i think...and there wasn't much going on,as boxing day proved to be pretty dry for the first time with the mouth-watering Arsenal vs Villa scheduled for sunday..and this was my ONLY complaint,because other than football,i don't watch a lot of t.v nowadays.But the wrestler was on,and its s'possed to be a great movie,right?And its long overdue for me,but no matter....anyway the catch here was that it was past 11:30 p.m,and that meant i had to keep it real low...its sad for me when good movies air at night,and i cant play them at a reasonable volume,even in my room's t.v..but all hope is not lost! Who's the saviour? SUBTITLES!Yeah life-savers...at least you can still watch the movie...although subtitles tend to drag your attention away from whats happening on the reel...well that's how it works in my case anyway..its distracting as hell for me...i always try to find some little mishap in the translation,that might just turn out to be funny!
Most Indian channels airing Hollywood movies apparently feel they don't "connect" with our audiences as much as the audience would have liked...and that most of us fail to understand most of what they're "muttering under their throats",unlike bollywood where every damn actor would enunciate everything he/she says times thousand...all I can say is,we have been Terribly underestimated XD
They're not too bad though,subtitles..I know some guys who are dedicated viewers of the japanese versions of naruto,bleach etc...they'd choke if it weren't for english subs!But the only problem is that if its a movie,most of the intensity you would feel when you hear the characters actually speak are robbed by the subs(especially when you're watching at a low volume...like me at night),cuz they have the censor thing going on,which is funny,but also makes you feel like a 12 year old deaf kid,who's watching a rated-R movie with his folks >_< ...yes the translation is worse than what would be for a PG-13 film.And i'm not talking about grammatical incorrectness...its just that they take the salt and the spice out of the dish when they either exclude or filter the profanity in the subtitles...and how! If you're watching ,like, PULP FICTION and hear Samuel.L Jackson say to Tim Roth " I just thought it was some cold-blooded shit to say to a motherfucker 'fore I popped a cap in his ass."
That is some explicit shit!But here's what the subtitles say:
"I just thought it was some cold crap to say to someone 'fore i popped his butt"... damn PG-13!Sam looks like a cartoon character,(probably a restrained Fred Flintstone trying hard to control himself?)speaking from the subtitles :P Anyway here are some conventional dialogue translations that most Indian channels use nowadays:

-asshole--> scumbag
-you sick bastard-->you are sick
-ass-->butt
-shit-->crap
-hell-->heck
-goddamn-->gosh-darn
-dick-->dumb
-F word-->blank(eg:"WTF are you doin'?" translates as "what ARE you doin'?")
Its frustrating really..how hard is it to understand what they're saying? And if you ask me,with the common gaavti Indian "crowd-who watch-English-movies-to-see-the-babes" in mind,i bet all they'd understand from what they're hearing,are the swear words!Thats all they'll ever get! Its the quintessential aspect of their little lives.So why make the herculean effort of translating those words into cereal form suitable for a 10 year old,while still trying to stay in context?!By trying to stay in context,i have to say these subtitle-folk,don't quit work early...there's a scene in JUNO where Juno's stepmom lashes out at her sonography nurse for being unreasonable with them,and puts her to shame ,after which Juno says"Wow,you're a dick!" The crew could have just used the key shown above and translated dick as dumb,instead it says"wow,you're awesome!"...understanding the context,are them humble folk at star movies XD...hard working,pointlessly hard working folk..
But you see such care being taken because they're official translators! Get a pirated VCD copy of any movie, and it doesn't matter if you're watching "george of the jungle" or "the departed"...the pirated subtitles kill the movie just the same...which is entertaining too,by the way..Heres some Indy for you














XD.Everyone sounds retarded in the subs,and dunno wtf they're saying - still makes for some great entertainment...But well,Indy is awesome anyway..so i'd rather have subs like these if I was watching like..."the league of extraordinary gentlemen".at least this way i'd be able to sit through the whole of it.
And lets not forget.. subtitles especially rule the "misheard" department and that's gut-busting stuff,if you're watching a tamil/kannada/mallu movie,with misheard translations of the songs!And yeah there is the grandaddy of 'em all,BENNY LAVA!If you haven't already seen it yet(and i bet that's a longshot),youtube it right away.

Underrated,subtitles are...yeah,people should realise their importance!What if tomorrow,the Al-Quaeda decide to launch an unexpected terrorist attack,and their chief is on the media giving out important information about where they're gonna hit,and what they're gonna do!With no SUBTITLES on?!?He'll be saying all this with a straight-ass face,so it'll be upto us to make out whether he was talking about an immediate terrorist attack or what he really thought of Barack Obama,and his white-folk?Or just plain talking about what he had for breakfast?!Who knows without subtitles?!?All you can hear is "Ackh-muckhh-chhhsa...achhmed.chuslafiala accckkhhhhhmed!!!"subtitles!!I just wrote up a whole post on the thing! Why am I still going on about it? I'll tell you why...cuz i'm back to writing my blog,full scale...and none of you "scumbags" can do a "gosh darn" thing about it!! "To "heck" with you all!! XD

P.S:The following text contains explicit and profane vocabulary that might disturb some individuals,therefore i hereby state th.......no,wait..this should have come before the post...hmm O_o

-Epitome-

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(wow...the post under this one was written in july? wow...)
lets just pretend it was yesterday when i posted last,and get on with it 'cuz i'm tired of talking about "vows of regular updation" and "reasons for hiatus"...there's been far too much of that XD

Anyway,to begin with whats been going on,i've formed a band,and it finally has a name...yep,its not the "nameless band"anymore...damn its hard to give your band a name... it might seem easy when you look at some really on-the-nose names like 'metallica' or 'deep purple' or some really cheesy names like 'the who' or 'the doors' (who are all rock's hall of fame LEGENDS btw >_<) how hard could it be? But you see the problem is,when you get right down to it,you find out that all the names have been taken,somehow( a common dud for lack of creativity)...meh* And this "thinking of a name/title" stuff is addictive...not to mention irritating if you get others to think for you,cuz once i got kunal(my band's guitarist) to do it,we would be reading the title board of every shop,every hoarding,every sticker/bill there was...probably every piece of bold title text we came across,and would come up with names like "tipnis ka tapri","oven-hot music","nice collection"(of songs)...well you get the picture :P .Its funny at first,but when Kunal finally crosses his forbidden red line and decides to name the band "D-Mart-yrs" or something,its time to endgame. We could have been any one of those really,it was desperate times...Then we would seek aid from the big daddy oxford dict+thesaurus!?( i have no idea why),and countless other stuff;like in the movie "NICK AND NORAH'S infinite playlist",the band members have similar problems and at one point consider calling their band "fistful of assholes" picking it up from a girl who swears at them..lol...that doesn't help much,considering how bad Indian profanity would sound in a band name!But in the end it just struck me...(and thats really the way its always destined to happen,innit) and i decided to call it EPITOME...well its a word,more than a ridiculous band name,but i wanted a chantable 3-4 syllable name!... not something like "THEM CROOCKED VULTURES" or "DEMONIC RESURRECTION"(sucks when the crowd cant chant your name).And it makes sense too...well you can make whatever sense you want to make out of it! and thats um...the beauty of it O_o. And fast forward to now from july,back when all we had was a dump-worthy metal song,which was practically built around its much appraised main riff,and a metallica rip-off blast-beat clad 5 minute force with "reservoir dogs" as the inspiration for its 3 page long story-like lyrics(i'll post those after i prepare myself for embarrassment) ... i must say we 've come a long way since that time,cuz i decided to turn the bandwagon toward mainstream rock...and composed "dark road"(give it a listen) which was primarily the turning point,'cause by that time I had come to be heavily influenced by sludge metal,alternative rock and grunge bands like THE MELVINS,NIRVANA,PEARL JAM,SONIC YOUTH,among others,and also some old school blues from Clapton/Cream,The Doors,and even The Beatles for a while :P.It altered my musical style...actually it created one,one that i'm hoping to stick with anyway. So we recorded like 4 fresh songs,out of 7 potential compositions on paper,roughly to say the least,with equipment as gay,disposable and laughably shitty as those first few recordings! Soon some friends got their hands on it,and I had only sent them out two 2 or 3 close ones...but it got out,and suddenly every old friend of mine who met me went" hey you have a band now right?" And i didnt know if i wanted to feel elated and chest-puffingly proud,cuz if anyone of them asked us to play for them,we'd look like a flock of fucking pigeons,cuz we had no practice playing our own songs!!We'd never even played OUR songs together!Not possible with just one guitar and drums...It was just recorded part for part!And the looming ghost of 8 working hours of college overshadowed any possible jam sessions during the week...so it was just recording ,eventually.But there's a lot lined up for next year with my college rock fest and all,to which we've been invited,but have to try and audition for...and i hope that would somehow serve to be a catapult for us,as it did have major bands performing last year...we can only wait and see!And stupendously impatient as i am,i'm more than itching to get my hands on my own electric guitar come jan 8th,(that is if santa decides to be kind to me ,else i'll be forced to tell myself that he suffered the wrath of recession too XD) and jam with my band for the whole of january (cuz no one ever shows up at coll until after republic day),and also teach my new found bass player to play the ...um...bass...(more on this later,in case you're wondering) >_<

Do leave your comments on the song.And your honest opinion of it...Also special thanks to Minakshi for the esnips thingy,else I would have been lost..until next time then..and here's hoping that's not another 5 months down the road :P
peace!

P.S:@ Ojas: should i post "glint" in the next one?Thinking of making a playlist ...reply ;)

"Big Day Out"-nameless band-2009

Hey,folks...I promised a while back that I would upload vids of me and my pals at the studio session we had back in January,so here they are..

CHARACTERS:Me(on the mic),Nihar(on the drums),Kunal(on guitar),Rishiraj(on the toy violin thingy),Iyer(recording the vid)

SUMMARY:
It was way back in January this year,when we got an invitation from Nihar's cousin to visit his studio in Vikroli west.We were excited as hell,as Nihars was going to purchase his bro's drumset which was in the studio.Fact was that his bro was selling the studio,so he was also selling the stuff it contained.Anyway,we went to Vikroli in kunals car,which Rishi drove,and if you're in the car when that guy drives,you'll never feel the need to sit on a roller coaster ride ever in your life again.Anyway,there were the 5 of us,and we clocked a record time traversing the highway...as was expected.After a lot of deep breaths and swallowing our hearts,which were in our mouths after the hellride in which we could've all died thrice... we entered the studio,which at first smelled of old thermocol and a smell that would expectedly emanate from a stuffed room.But that didnt matter,as what the studio contained was all eye candy.A classic 5 piece Chancellor drumset,a semi acoustic Hobmer guitar,an ESP and Marshall amplifiers,an acoustic gibson,and best for last,an electric classic authentic black 'VIPER 10' that kunal hugged as soon as he saw(now its his,he purchased it later,obviously....*sniff*..love at first sight).I had just purchased a guitar back then,and i didn't know how to play,so i manned the mic(But now its both vocals and guitar for me).Well the rest can be seen in the vid...so,heres the crap that unfolded during our brief hour and a half stay at the studio.There was obviously a lot more,but i'll do the best i can to get the stupid ones up :P
Enjoi!

The "New age" of slang and 'twang'

I was gonna upload some audio recordings that me and the guys had done,in this post,but since i haven't yet taken them from kunal,you'll have to settle for this...ahem*.."roundtable mayhem" that usually takes place during the sessions ;)

Venue:Home of local retard Kunal tipnis,Lakshminarayan residency
Characters:Kunal,moi,Iyer,Nihar,Omkar,Nivia
Time:(doesnt matter,we're there for most part of the day :P)
Day:(this shit happens everyday,so doesn't matter)


Kunal:(playing some crap on his guitar that sounds like a rickshaw horn being pressed upon intensely)
Dekha tu talent?!..Kirk Hammet ka baap bhi baja paega kya aisa bol tu bas!!

Me:abee tera hope nahi hai mere Rhythm ke bina...kuch bhi,Hammet ka baap bechara guitarist hi nahi tha!Hahaha

Kunal:Tu aa saale,de tera rhythm...dikhata hoon main show!...

Iyer:(Jumping on and off the bed) Abemeinkyabolraichalnacardskhelega!

Nihar:kya sadarai yeh NOOB...kuch samja kya tumlog ko?

Omkar:Iyer ke life me hope nahi hai uski GF ko kuch samjega nahi woh kya bol raha hai aur woh bhag jaaegi

Chorus:Hahahahahahaah!

Iyer:Abemainitnaaa bhi fast nahi boltahai haankya (lifts the baby keyboard and starts playing
jana-gana-mana on it)

Me:Abe IYER chup na noob-tard,kuch aata nahi hai sala!...now the jackass will play Om-Shanti-Om!

Iyer:(plays Om-Shanti-Om like a jackass)

Kunal:Abeee is insaan ko nikaalo bahar ghar se!pakarai subhe se 10 ghanta!

Iyer:10 ghanta nahi.It has been only 2 and half hours since i came.Ha.


Chorus:NHAAAAIIIIIEEEE!!kya pakarai!!

Nihar:Woh chod...chal na Kunal,"one"bajaega

Me:No,lets play our song!

Nihar:NO! "ONE"!

Kunal:(starts playing "one" to create more confusion)

Iyer:(still on om-shanti-om slowly going into "kuch-kuch hota hai")

Omkar:Iyer ,you're gay with SRK and you know it.

Iyer:IAMNOT GAY WITHSRKJUSTBECAUSEI PLAYHISSONGSANDWATCHHISMOVIES!!!!...*blah*blah*....

kunal:IMBA leads mila dekh dost!!!

Me:Nope...sad hai...not fitting anywhere

Kunal:TU sad hai!!Kya problem hai bol na!!tera rhythm GHU hai...nothing else!

Me:Its not fitting!wait ill give you some rhythm!Then we'll see whos crap...

Iyer:Hey do you know that the world is going to end in 2012 and that the Mayan calendar points
out to the fact that the pledians are about to show themslves in5th dimensional....blah*blah*dribble*dribble*yap*yap*

Me:Iyer wants the world to end because he knows he wont ever get laid and if we all die
early,then no one can live to tell about it.

Chorus:hhahahahahaha!!

Omkar:Dekh Iyer...tere insult kar rahe hai log...ab tu kya karega...SRK will be ashamed...

Iyer:*drool*sluuurp*Rassa frassa !gfsdfasdsdgasdasdgadfg!

Kunal:*WAILLL*THWANG*taoing!!!*tao tao taooooonnngg!!!*....this is gonna be the start of
out NEW song!(kunals turtle "TITU"a.k.a "KIRK"has had enough and retreats into his shell)

Nihar:kunallzzzzzz...whaatt eeeeesssss....chal na cards khelega!

Chorus:MENDICOAT!....no,UNO!..no,Black Queen!....no,Bluff!...no,teen patti!!...NO,POKER!!!

Me:AAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!goddammit decide,you lame-brains!

Nivia:(finally breaks his silence)lets all go on a drive in kunals car.
----------------silence-------------------
------------------------------------------
Chorus:hey...yeah thats a fine idea!!

Kunal:Haan...we can go...but....petrol nahi hai...sadinder....sad..

Iyer:Heyheyhey sunn na!!!I'll give 10 bucks to anybody who can guess the card i have in my
hand!lookielookie,10 bucks(shakes his 10 bucks like a maniac) WHO WANTS IT?

Losers:ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!

Me:*rolls eyes*And we are back at the pavilion....cheers
(END)


P.S: Notice the amount of unique and indecipherable slang thats been used in the context :P
P.P.S:The MUSIC making usually works out 'better' if its only Me,Kunal and Nihar jamming at Nihar's....those drums are some miracle...
P.P.P.S:Those who have experienced being around these characters,please leave your much valuable comments! :P

Later!

POST UPDATE:Look,i know i've been a li'l bit too hard on iyer in this post,but Iyer,you know i mean well,buddy...you're the man!
Heres hoping that i'll be equally hard on everyone else too next time out! :D
PEACE! \/m

Its COMEBACK time...

......tick...tick..tick...tick...
*ahem*...wow!Does this place still exist?'Cuz the last post was like on....february the 8th?!well,4 months eet has been...what a shame...
I can't even describe whats happened over 4 months,there was a lot going on,and also most of it was overlapped by my 2nd sem exams..

Okay,the last rotting post about liverpool doin the dramatic go 'round over portsmouth,but whats the point...here i am,a little over 4 months later,declaring that despite gathering the highest points total in the clubs history,we still failed to win the league(for those of you who might not know....but that isnt possible ,now is it...because unbearably,the world majorly comprises of fans of the winners,Manchester United >_<)..So,it hasn't exactly been a very happy ending to a promising and gripping season,except,as a consolation,the world could witness the greatness of one F.C barcelona,who decimated United for europes ultimate prize(yeahh!!)as we saw the power in europe shift...But that was just football! Form what i can gather from the months the blog was in hiatus,there were jamming sessions,bad movies(except Dev D),a hellot of bunks,football during bunks,sports event,robotics ,college submissions,football during submissions,prelims,football during prelims[:P],part time teaching in R.A.I.T(lol),elections,then exams...blah blah...etc..etc..and finally here i am,after all the hoopla,with something of a months vacation,just when every other person i know in town is back to college...woo-hoo... Well,from this post,i assume that you folks have gathered the fact that I HEREBY DECLARE THIS BLOG ACTIVE!*applause*. Though it doesn't convey anything that you people dont already know about,which is what the prime purpose of this blog is supposed to be >_<

Piece of advice:If you are a Liverpool F.C fan,never begin to argue with a Man United fan about l'pools history...cuz you end up making a total dick out of yourself,as united have 11 PREMIER LEAGUE titles,which is not something that can be ripped upon...BUT,the good news is,now we can all rip off on their grand talisman that was,the "worlds best player" as he is elatedly on his way to spain for the upcoming season,along with a certain hotel heiress as a bonus,who is in desperate need for someone to bust her chops and boost her income! ;)
i.e of course if Ronnies MOM,who apparently hates Paris,allows her weetle baby boy to get into bed with her :P

I'll probably post some audio of the stuff i've recorded with my "band mates"...and probably some video too :P
Until next time...peace!

The tryst with Football

This Saturday's late kick-off,in the Barclays premier league might just not have been the most interesting of matches to tune into,as it featured the struggling Portsmouth with only two wins in their previous 16 outings,hosting a 2nd placed Liverpool side,not at all at their full strength nonetheless looking to win this fixure and temporarily go top of the premier league table,with league leaders Manchesr United having played two games less than them.But Myself being an ardent liverpool supporter,I never try and skip any of the league games no matter what position they might be in.Also every result that they get from now on could change the winds of their title campaign severely.But i was having second thoughts about this one,as lpool were without their talismanic skipper Steven Gerrard(out for 3 weeks with injury)and were also shy of influencial players such as Xabi Alonso and Albert Riera due to injury.And to top it all off,one of the most feared strikers in europe,Fernando Torres,i heard would be left to watch from the bench.Thats a few very massive blows,as i seriously considered turning off the TV after looking at the squad which was setup in something that looked like a 5-4-1 formation with six defenders on the pitch!...right..who gets the goals Rafa?David N'gog?Rookie lone striker?unlikely to say the least...
Regardless i watched,and as expected it was a dull and drab first half,liverpool resumed their usual slow starters' ways,with the only highlight being Fabio Aurelio's free-kick off the left hand post.
Little did i know that the second half was going to be blood-rushing,heart stopping,butterflies-in-gut drama...with what could have been the most unexpected of incidents,David Nugent puts Portsmouth into the lead,with a possibility of being offside,let by.Still i had enough belief in Liverpool to go on and clinch it,but the curse of the draw never passed me.Then Ryan Babel misses an atrocious sitter.Unbelievable.In a game which saw the refree(Howard Webb)all over the place,not always making the right decisions with a countless no. of handball appeals swayed away,and offsides gone for and against,former liverpool lad Peter Crouch commits a horrendous error of a back pass to keeper David James,forcing him to handle the ball due to Dirk Kuyt's charge.(who had now entered the game,thankfully)Free kick in the box-liverpool.GOAL!!!And its 1-1!!! As Fabio Aurelio blasts through the pompey side,stacked like bowling pins inside the penalty area.Relief...Another substitution sees Xabi Alonso walk into the pitch,but still no Torres.The gold was still very much in the mine..
I leave pulling my hair as Torres finally steps into the pitch with 15 mins to go.But in the blink of an eye,pompey are in the lead again,courtesy of a free header for Herman Heraidersson from a set-piece.In complete anguish and disbelief,i kick the shelf beside me,suddenly fearing how far Man-Uniteds lead would go,were liverpool to lose.. 2-1 it stood and for the second time,pompey take the lead,with the tale twisted as fiercely as this season of the premier league itself.
Then theres another blood rush accompanied by a mood swing,as Dirk Kuyt blasts home from close range with intense venom.The tide begins to turn as the score stands at 2-2.Liverpool equalise again.After all thats already been in this match,the final verdict is provided by none other than Torres himself heading home the potential winner,as i punch the air,revved with emotion,with nothing but pure satisfaction .Theres hope yet!!We'd done it again...3-2!!!.F**king unbelievable really...What a show,lads.Snatching the 3 point parcel right out of pompeys hands,(but you'vre relly got to fel bad for them after their performance.)Liverpool are league leaders only for the while,but with a lot of confidence after this terrific show of class and character from potential champions.
I just wanted to write this piece,in an attempt to explain the emotion that travels through me during a liverpool game,the club that i support and love.Every result plays its toll on me long after the game is done,as them winning their first barclays premier league title(19th league title)is all that matters to me when i watch the league.Its this about football that never ceases to amaze me,the fact that it never fails to deliver.Seems stupid that i'm talking so much about a mid-league game,albeit important,but at the same time NOT a champions league final or something!And Even though this was a small time league match,it produced 5 goals of a thrilling saga with one clubs title hopes hanging in the balance,whose fate could change after each twist in the game.Tomorrow you could see Aston Villa beat man united to the top,all punditry aside...What a league battle we have in store but thats just how it is,its perfect,its genius,its heavenly.It is the beautiful game.And we live to love it,and love to live it.

--YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE--liverpool F.C

college (special) daze

I stare at my firefox window and see 4 tabs open...orkut,espntar,BOF,and well,my blog..
Orkut-no ones online.(Well of course,people are online,but...nyeh,nyeh)
ESPN star-Read and re-read all football related news.
BOF-Batman's dead in the comics so whats the point >_<" bloggy-ahem*sticks tongue out and clicks on customize for new post* :d

Okay,so i enter college today,and see a new flyer right at the entrance that says "special days coming up,all next week"(or something like that,but thats what it meant)...hmm...then i go further down the corridor and see one more that says "9th,monday will be chocolate day"with brands listed below"dairymilk,nestle,melody,etc*sighs*.Whats this all about,chocolate day?Whats so different or special about it if all we're gonna eat is basic indian chocolate?Or is that even what we've gotta do?Further down theres one more"10th feb tie and saree day"well thats fine,but wouldn't it have helped to just put up all the notices into ONE board?Now i'm seeing flyers beside the walls of the stairs"11th feb.BLUE and WHITE day" hmph.I don't even wanna begin to wonder why its BLUE and white >_<.But im still being teased all the way up to the second floor!Now its "colour day.red=love,white=peace,blue=*blah*,black=enemy".Well people wear clothes of different colours everyday,so i'm guessing this particular day is all about going as per mood and choosing .Wheeee so much fun!i'm gonna be playing dress up!..meh.
Annoying...sill more flyers...one more stupid day,13th (i don't even remember what...yeah,it said rose day,but isn't valentines just a day after?how desperate!) and then its 14th..at least that ones official."So all this is a build up to valentines?"some guy asks me,climbing up the stairs,equally puzzled.Hmm,i guess, but building up a little too literally!I was almost on the 3rd floor! :P
I know that colleges have special days,but arent they like once a month or something?Whats this all about?
Anyway,next weeks i'm gonna be all DAZE'd...and right now i'm confused...hey thats a Led Zeppelin song!*starts mp3 track*"beeen daaazeddd and confuuuusedd...so long its not trueee!!" wails robert plant...
There goes another 25 minutes!I really do spend my time wisely...yessir.
*jimmy page runs into solo* aaaah!!!This is the best part!See youse readers later!


Note:BOF is short for"batman-on-film",the most reliable source for bat-movie related news on the web,and is currently on the hunt for news on a possible 3rd movie after the mammoth success"THE DARK KNIGHT".